Bloodied Soul
by LadyDeathwish
Summary: Spoiler warning! This story relates to a quest in the game Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, some quest details are included but with a fictitious ending.


It had been a long night.

I finished an important objective for my guild. I'm not at liberty to say which guild, as the objective was a... 'personal' matter. However, I can say that it was the hardest, most mentally and physically trying objective thus far. I managed to get it over with, and my guildmaster couldn't be happier with the results.

I stretched my arms over my head, and put on my softest silk pajamas. My next objective... Could damn well wait. I was exhausted. I collapsed on my bed and sleep took me within an instant.

I had the strangest dream. Well, nightmare, really. I don't remember too many specifics, but I recall there being a lot of blood, and two parts: People shying away from me when I just wanted to talk, and looking down in the water to see that my reflection's eyes were red. I woke up screaming and in a cold sweat.

I felt... Different.

It was such an overwhelming feeling of unfamiliarity with my body that I must have spent an hour sitting on the edge of my bed staring at my hands, of all things. It was as if they were someone else's hands. I tried to shake the feeling as much as I could, and went outside into the early morning.

The first light of dawn felt warm on my face, it was a nice feeling, as if I were still wrapped up in my bedsheets dreaming. The waterfront district was just starting to wake up, and people nodded in greeting to me as they passed by. I caught one person looking at me strangely, but as soon as she noticed that I had seen her she smiled and went on her way. I didn't think anything of it. Besides, I was hungry.

The Feed Bag did indeed have a terrible name, but it was good food. I bought some fruits and the shopkeeper asked me if I had had a rough night's sleep. When I answered yes, he smiled and gave me a tankard filled with water, for which I thanked him graciously. I was about to take a sip when I noticed my reflection on the side. It could have been the torchlight playing tricks on me. Or it could have just been my still half-awake mind still stressing about the dream. Whatever the case was, the reflection wasn't mine. The reflection had my face, my flattened nose and full lips, my high cheekbones and my pointed ears, all a little bit distorted by the curvature of the mug of water in my hand.

But my reflection had red eyes.

I blinked a few times. The redness would not go away.

The vam- They- Oh my gods- Damn it all to Oblivion!

I don't think I've ever run to any religious institution so fast in my life. Actually, I don't think I've ever set foot in one, ever, in my life. Now, please understand that I am a very independent Bosmer, I carve out my own niche in the world and I look to no one for support but myself. However... Ohh, the things we do when we're in trouble... I stumbled over to the only person in the temple at that early hour and fell to my knees begging for her help, tears pouring out of my eyes like a monsoon rain.

She was a kind and gentle Dunmer woman. She was astonished to see me in such a state, but once I told her my case, she was understanding and sympathetic, even went so far as to embrace me and stroke my hair despite my condition. She told me to seek out someone in Skingrad. I don't remember who specificly, because I left in such a hurry.

After a day's travelling I came at last to Castle Skingrad. I saw an Argonian woman and asked her quietly about my condition. Her interest was piqued, and she left and had me wait in the lobby. A while later she came back and Count Hassildor himself came out to speak with me. His eyes were red and his skin was wrinkled and pale. He was a vampire.

Just like me.

He confided in me that he and his wife were bitten a long time ago, and while he embraced the new strengths that the disease gave him, she refused to accept it. I couldn't blame her. She refused to feed to the point where she had fallen into a coma, and the Count wanted the cure for her. He told me that the only people who knew of a cure to vampirism was an ancient sect of witches almost entirely wiped out. Save one.

A wretched old woman whom I met along a river west of the Imperial city.

I fought through the forest for hours before I found the hermit's dwelling. A wolf found me invading it's territory and decided to attack me. I quickly bested with my sword. It's blood spilled on the ground and caught in it's fur. A thought crossed my mind for only an instant. Disgusted with myself, I vomited, and wearily I moved on.

The woman didn't take kindly to visitors. I actually had to trespass into her house to even see her. She recognised my condition and after some persuading she would help me, for a price. The price was higher than I could reach.

Five empty grand soul gems. I could have killed her on the spot.

Alas, I left her house, and headed back to the city. I located one, in a magic shop in the market district. The price was extortionist, and he told me he wouldn't have any more in stock any time soon. Begrudgingly I moved on. I traveled the whole day to several towns - I don't even remember which - to find another in a Mage's Guild on the way - In Leyawiin, I think. I sat in a chair inside the guild to rest a moment and I fell asleep.

I had another dream. There was more blood, and many other vampires around me. I approached a figure of some importance. I had done something for which I was very proud of, and I found myself kneeling before him, boasting of my accomplishment. Instead of greeting me with praise, he smiled wickedly, and raised a hand. Immediately the vampires surrounding me descended upon my body, and despite my best efforts to defend myself, my flesh was ripped from my bones and my blood was sickeningly drained. I woke up screaming again.

The members of the guild stared at me in amazement, and beyond them I saw a mirror. My face was starting to wither. I cried and without saying a word to the kind mages there, I ran out of the guild into the streets, in the middle of the afternoon.

The sun was bearing down on me violently. Every part of me that was exposed began to itch and burn. I ran to the inn and took out a room until nightfall.

I was getting worse.

For the next two days I wandered Cyrodil only at night, taking shelter from the sun in nearby caves and ruins whether they were inhabited or not. I hit every Mage's Guild Hall or magic shop I could think of, but I couldn't find any more grand soul gems. I resisted sleep when I could, but my face grew more withered and more pale despite it.

People started to turn me away in fear.

When that started to happen, I returned to the Imperial City. I went back into the temple, and found the gentle woman who had pointed me in the right direction. She took one look at my hideous face and backed away, screaming at me to not get any closer to her. I would have cried, but the source of my tears had turned to dust, much like the rest of me did when exposed to the warm sun I once loved. I left sadly, and returned to the old woman.

I arrived to her house at night, naturally, and found her sleeping quietly on her bed. Her neck looked very- No, I refused to let myself succumb to this disease. I sat on the bench in her house and looked forlornly into the embers in her fireplace until she awoke.

She didn't recognise me at first. She saw my face and screamed at me to get away. Gently I tried to explain that it was really me, Sadira, and that I had gotten her two of the soul gems she had requested.

She refused to give me the cure for 'only' two grand soul gems.

I begged and pleaded with her, as I dodged the morning's rays of light coming in through the cracks in her windows. I had become a monster, and the only source of help I had was being no help at all. Had it been an entirely different set of circumstances, I would have admired her resolve.

Instead, I found myself tearing the flesh off her neck and drinking the delicious crimson nectar that I had been silently craving for what felt like an eternity.

I took out my silver sword and stabbed her in the chest, then I cut off her head and both hands. Licking the bloodied blade, I briefly concluded what I should do next. I went outside. The burning was unbearable. I dropped to the ground. Still I pressed on. I turned my sword around and held it in both hands. Then I put it through myself, praying that the gods would give me death for what I had done, what I had become. It wasn't long before I passed out. I'd die killing a monster; Myself. 


End file.
